Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
