everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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