He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize