I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
