I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
