She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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