dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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