i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
