Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
