I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We had to coat check the pizza.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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