Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
