I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
