you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
