I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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