Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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