Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize