I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
