miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
only you would photoshop your dick
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize