i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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