i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
