new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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