i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize