nut hugger
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
