i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
