i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish i was in the wii world.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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