Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
