WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
