I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
