Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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