yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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