I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
