My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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