i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
