I'm going to jail i love you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
