i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
