can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
