we have pet lesbian snakes
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
