Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
