Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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