fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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