shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize