i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
