DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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