Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
