so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He passed out mid-signature
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
