You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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