I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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