we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
