im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize