Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
