no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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