Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
