glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize