Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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