i jhust puked up my retainher.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
