Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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