I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize