Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
