well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
