I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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