K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
