My cat gives me a boner
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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