kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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