Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She's the barista slut.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
