2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
