He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
